Author: Acquire@pos

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Better that one throw himself into a fiery furnace rather than embarrass someone else in public.” To embarrass someone else is a most serious sin. In fact, Tosafos is of the opinion that a Jew is obligated to sacrifice his life, to die al kiddush Hashem, rather than embarrass another Jew in public (as the Gemara quoted above seems to indicate).

Unfortunately, there are times when we see one Jew embarrassing another. How can this be? How is it possible for an otherwise Torah-observant Jew to be guilty of one of the most serious sins in the Torah?

Rabbi Yisroel Chaim Kaplan was a revered tzaddik and the Mashgiach Ruchani of Beis Medrash Elyon in Monsey. One day, R’ Yisroel Chaim ran into the beis midrash and, with tears streaming down his cheeks, shouted, “I just saw a murder!” The students were momentarily frightened, until R’ Yisrael Chaim explained. “I just witnessed one student embarrassing another — that’s murder!”

The Manchester Rosh Yeshivah, Rabbi Yehudah Zev Segal, maintained that if children would be taught from their early youth that there are few things as terrible as embarrassing someone, they would be on guard against committing this sin.

If Reuven speaks lashon hara about Shimon in Shimon’s presence and this causes Shimon embarrassment, then Reuven has also transgressed the
Sin of, “… and do not bear a sin because of him”, which we learn that it is forbidden to embarrass someone even when correcting him for the wrong that he has done. If he has embarrassed him in public then he is in danger of forfeiting his share in the World to Come; teshuvah, which includes seeking forgiveness, is his only hope.

Another very severe sin is to cause pain to an orphan or widow, “You shall not cause pain to any widow or orphan.”This pasuk is followed by a frightening warning concerning those who are guilty of this sin. Rambam writes:

One must be careful regarding orphans and widows … as it is written, “You shall not cause pain to a widow or orphan.” And how should one act towards them? One should only speak gently to them, and treat them only with respect. One should not hurt their bodies through hard work, nor their hearts through [hurtful] words …

When someone speaks lashon hara about an orphan or widow in his or her presence, causing the person to feel hurt or embarrassed, he has transgressed this sin. Here, too, his only hope is to engage in sincere teshuvah and seek forgiveness.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara can involve the very serious sin of embarrassing someone or causing pain to a widow or orphan.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

There is no greater source of blessing than shalom, peace, and there is no greater source of destruction than machlokes, strife.

When Jews are at peace with one another, we cre­ate a special aura of protection around ourselves. We are protected from our enemies, we are protected from the indictments of the Satan, and even more incredibly, we are protected from Divine punishment for our sins.

This, said Rabbi Aharon Kotler, was the difference between the Generation of the Flood and Generation of the Dispersion. The fact that the Generation of the Flood was mired in robbery proved that the people were not united at all. Therefore, their fate was sealed and they were destroyed. However, the Generation of the Dispersion, though it was rebellious towards Hashem, maintained unity towards one another. Therefore the people dispersed but not destroyed.

When lashon hara causes or strengthens machlokes, the speaker has transgressed, “And do not be like Korach and his congregation.”
Korach led a shameful rebellion against the leadership of Moshe Rabbeinu and Aharon HaKohen. The story of his rebellion and the bitter end that he and his followers met remains a symbol for all time of a dispute that was not l’shem Shamayim (for the sake of Heaven) and therefore had tragic consequences.

The Torah states, “And you shall not aggrieve one another.” Rashi states: “Here the Torah cautions us regarding causing pain through hurtful words.”

The Torah forbids us to say [or do] anything that will hurt someone’s feelings. This is very different from the common case of lashon hara. Common lashon hara is where Reuven tells Shimon, “You know, Levi is a terrible person,” or something else derogatory about Levi. Ona’as devarim is where Reuven tells Levi, “You know, you really are a terrible person.” Though these words were said privately, the speaker has been guilty of the very serious sin of ona’as devarim because he has hurt Levi’s feelings.

The Chofetz Chaim informs us that if Reuven tells Shimon, “Levi is a terrible person,” and Levi is present, then aside from transgressing the sin of lashon hara, Shimon has also been guilty of ona’as devarim.

The classic example in Tanach of ona’as devarim is the episode of Chanah and Peninah, the two wives of Elkanah. Chanah was childless, while Peninah had a number of children. Peninah, recognizing that Chanah was a tzadekes, firmly believed that if Chanah would pray more intensely, she would be granted a child. So she taunted Chanah in the hope that this would spur her on to greater tefillah. Though her intentions were honorable and, as Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz writes, it surely pained Peninah to hurt Chanah’s feelings, she did not escape severe punishment.

R’ Chaim compares this to someone who puts his hand in a fire. The best intentions in the world will not save him from getting burned. To hurt a person’s feelings is to play with fire.

IN A NUTSHELL
Lashon hara can sometimes lead to machlokes, which is highly destructive, and can involve the terrible sin of hurting someone’s feelings.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

Want to hear what Yosef did? You’ve got to hear this! — But don’t tell him that I told you! He thinks I’m his friend.”

When someone speaks lashon hara and at the same time is careful that the other person should not know of his dislike towards him, he has transgressed, “Do not hate your brother in your heart.” The key word here is “in your heart, “It is wrong to show open hatred for a fellow Jew. But it is even worse to act as if you like him while harboring hatred in your heart. This is the kind of hatred of which this verse speaks.

If we think that we have a valid reason for being upset or even angry with someone, then we should speak to the person about it, in a respectful manner. If we keep the anger bottled up inside it will grow, and over the course of time will most certainly develop into sinas chinam, baseless hatred. This is the hatred that destroyed the Second Beis HaMikdash.

If someone speaks lashon hara about someone out of a desire to “get even” with that person or because he bears a grudge against him, then he has transgressed, “Do not take revenge and do not bear a grudge.

Sometimes we are truly wronged by someone and we find it hard not to bear a grudge When this happens, there are a number of thoughts we can focus on to rid ourselves of bad feelings towards that person.

We can tell ourselves any or all of the following: “I don’t know what possessed him to do such a thing to me. Maybe he is having problems of which people are unaware, and this is causing him to behave this way.”

“I actually feel more sorry for him than for myself. Thank G-d, I do not resort to such behavior, even when I am upset with someone.”

“What will I gain by bearing a grudge or seeking revenge? This will only lead to more bitterness and ill feelings, and everyone will lose. On the other hand, if I rid myself of any ill feelings and forgive him, Hashem will judge me the same way and be forgiving of my misdeeds.

“And if I am good to him, there is a reasonable chance that he will want to respond in kind, and we will be on the way to real friendship and good will.”

Finally, we should bear in mind the following: In Heaven, all Jewish souls are one. Therefore, seeking revenge against another Jew is as ridiculous as hitting one’s own hand for “having the nerve” to get stuck in a door. What the person is actually doing is punishing himself.

IN A NUTSHELL
If we truly seek to avoid lashon hara, we must rid ourselves of hatred towards others, and we must not seek revenge or bear a grudge.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

In his famous Iggeres (Ethical Letter) to his son, Ramban writes that anavah, humility, is the greatest of all good midos, and that it leads to yiras Hashem, awe of Hashem. Being humble does not mean to think of oneself as a “nobody,” a failure. To the contrary, a person can be successful in life only if he has self-esteem and feels good about himself.

What, then, is anavah?

To be humble is to realize that whatever we accomplish in life is only through siyata diShmaya, help from Hashem. Without Hashem’s help, we are helpless, literally.

To be humble also means to realize that although we have accomplished many good things in our lives, we really do not know if we are achieving our potential. It is possible that we can accomplish so much more.

To be humble also means not to feel haughty just because we have been blessed with talent in any given area. A talent is a blessing from Hashem to be used in His service, not to make one feel superior to others.

Finally, to be humble means to realize that we are not perfect. No one is. So rather than focus only on our good qualities and feel proud, we should give “equal time” to our faults, recognize them, and work to correct them.

The Torah states, “And your heart will become haughty and you will forget Hashem, your G-d. Another verse states, “Be careful, lest you forget Hashem, your G-d.” By way of the first verse, the Gemara derives that the second verse is a negative commandment not to be haughty. The Chofetz Chaim draws the following conclusion:

Since the speaker of lashon hara belittles others, most probably he considers himself a wise, important person — for if he recognized his own faults, then why would he make fun of others? Thus, one who speaks lashon hara is guilty of arrogance and has transgressed this sin.

The Chofetz Chaim adds that when a person builds his own stature in the eyes of others by belittling someone else, then he certainly is guilty of this sin. Furthermore, our Sages teach us that this person loses his portion in the World to Come.
The Torah states, “… You shall not desecrate My holy Name…” This verse cautions us not to cause a chillul Hashem, desecration of Hashem’s Name, through our words or actions. The Chofetz Chaim says that when someone speaks lashon hara, he is guilty of chillul Hashem. In the Chofetz Chaim’s words:
As this [lashon hara] does not involve taavah (craving) or physical pleasure which can allow a person to be overcome by his desires, therefore, committing this sin is considered a sort of rebellion against Hashem and a casting off of the yoke of Heaven — and this is a chillul Hashem.

What exactly does the Chofetz Chaim mean? True, there is no physical pleasure in speaking lashon hara, but there is pleasure.

Don’t people enjoy telling others how someone did something utterly ridiculous? Doesn’t the speaker feel pleasure when his listeners roar with laughter and slap him on the back for telling a great story? Why, then, is this a chillul Hashem?

The answer may be that there is a great difference between this pleasure and the pleasure of, for example, eating non-kosher food. The desire to enjoy good food is something inborn. If someone has a craving for nonkosher food, we do not tell him, “Well, program yourself to look at this food as disgusting, and then you won’t want to eat it.” This will not work and, in fact, our Sages state clearly that one should not say, “Non-kosher food is despicable to me.” Rather, he should say, “I would like to eat it, but Hashem decreed that I should not.”

Lashon hara, however, is different. People are not born with a desire to speak lashon hara. They develop a desire for it because they choose to focus on others’ faults. Furthermore, a person who enjoys telling nega-tive stories about people can program himself to change his attitude. He can develop a feeling that making fun of others is something despicable. Rather than enjoying the good laugh he gets at someone else’s expense, he can learn to enjoy the pleasure of refraining from evil speech.

And if he does not make the effort to “reprogram,” then he has cast off the yoke of Hashem regarding this mitzvah and has been guilty of chillul Hashem.

IN A NUTSHELL
Speaking lashon hara is a sign of arrogance and is a chillul Hashem.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Preface: Negative Commandments

When a person speaks lashon hara, he transgresses the pasuk, “Beware of a tzara’s affliction, to be very careful and to act…”

Tzara’as is not leprosy. Though it is a skin disease, it is a disease unlike any other. It is not caused by contact with a germ or other form of impurity. The Gemara teaches that tzara’as is a punishment for any one of seven sins; at the top of the list is lashon hara.

We can learn how terrible lashon hara is from the very severe tumah of a metzora (one who is afflicted with tzara’as). A metzora is the only living person who can transmit his tumah to another human being simply by standing under the same roof with that person, though there is no actual contact between them.

A metzora must live in solitude; he must let his hair grow and tear his clothing like a mourner. He must call out to those who pass by, “I am tamei (impure)! I am tamei!”

No other tamei in the Torah has to make such an announcement. What is its purpose? The Gemara states that the metzora makes this announcement so that others will pray that he should be healed of his tzara’as. The question, though, remains. Why doesn’t the Torah state that those who are afflicted with other forms of tumah should ask that others pray for them?

The Chofetz Chaim explains: Normally, a person’s Torah learning and prayers have awesome power in Heaven. But this is not the case with a ba’al lashon hara, one who often speaks lashon hara. Zohar teaches that when a person contaminates his mouth with lashon hara, the ruach hatumah (spirit of impurity) created by his words affects his gift of speech in a very powerful way. His Torah and tefillah are wrapped in a spirit of impurity and carry little weight in Heaven.

Therefore, the metzora cannot count on his own prayers to rid himself of his tzara’as. For this, he must call out to others, “I am tamei! I am tamei!” and hope that they will pray on his behalf.

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim asks: If tzara’as is a punishment for lashon hara, why don’t ba’alei lashon hara become afflicted with it nowadays? He cites the explanation of Chidah:

When Hashem punishes someone, He does so for the person’s benefit, so that he will do teshuvah. It was only while the Beis HaMikdash stood that a metzora could become purified from the tumah of his tzara’as. Today, when to our misfortune there is no Beis HaMikdash and no korbanos, there would be no way for a metzora to become tahor; he would remain with this severe form of tumah for the rest of his life. Therefore, today, the tumah of tzara’as clings only to the neshamah, but not to the body.

Both one who speaks lashon hara and one who listens to it are guilty of the sin of, “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block.” With these words the Torah forbids a Jew to cause another Jew to sin. When someone speaks lashon hara to a willing listener, each one is causing the other to sin. Although the speaker is the one who initiates the conversation, the listener is required to either tell the speaker to stop or simply walk away.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes this segment by quoting the ethical will of the Tanna R’ Eliezer HaGadol to his son Hyrkanos:

My son, do not sit among groups who speak disparagingly of others. For when their words ascend to Heaven, they are recorded in a book, and those who are present are inscribed as a “Wicked Group.”

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim asks: If tzara’as is a punishment for lashon hara, why don’t ba’alei lashon hara become afflicted with it nowadays? He cites the explanation of Chidah:

When Hashem punishes someone, He does so for the person’s benefit, so that he will do teshuvah. It was only while the Beis HaMikdash stood that a metzora could become purified from the tumah of his tzara’as. Today, when to our misfortune there is no Beis HaMikdash and no korbanos, there would be no way for a metzora to become tahor; he would remain with this severe form of tumah for the rest of his life. Therefore, today, the tumah of tzara’as clings only to the neshamah, but not to the body.

IN A NUTSHELL
· From the metzora and his tzaraas we learn the severity of lashon hara.
· By speaking or listening to lashon hara, we are causing someone else to sin.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM Preface: Negative Commandments

Name the greatest threat to world peace and security in these times.” A straightforward challenge with a fairly predictable response — or so one would think.

The Chofetz Chaim offers his own insight into what causes destruction. His answer is the real answer, because terrorists and evil regimes are powerless unless Hashem allows them to carry out their evil plans. And it is we, the Jewish people, whose actions determine what will be decided in Heaven.

The Mishnah states: “Know what is above you (— an Eye that sees, an Ear that hears …).” R’ Chaim Volozhiner offered an original explanation: Know that whatever happens Above is because of you. It is our actions and words on this earth that determine whether the world will earn Hashem’s mercy or the opposite, G-d forbid.

In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim states:

Whoever spreads gossip about his fellow Jews is guilty of a lo sa’aseh (negative prohibition), as it is written, “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people.” What is a gossipmonger? One who brings reports from one person to another, saying, “This is what So-and-so said about you, this what I have heard that So-and so did to you …” Though the report is true, he is destroying the world.

As mentioned above (Day 3), when Jews speak evil of each other, this gives the Satan the ability to speak evil of the Jewish people before Hashem. The result, says Zohar, is death and destruction in this world. When the Chofetz Chaim writes “he is destroying the world,” he means it in a very literal sense.

The Chofetz Chaim lists the other primary mitzvah that deals with lashon hara “Do not accept a false report,” which, our Sages teach, also includes the sin of speaking lashon.

To refrain from speaking lashon hara can be a very great test. The test of not listening to lashon hara can be even greater. It is very easy and can be very tempting to sit back and listen as someone tells a funny story about someone that makes the person appear foolish.

At Mount Sinai, Hashem declared that by accepting the Torah we would become a “kingdom of priests and a holy nation.” Through Torah, we are to become noble, refined, exceptional individuals, people whom other nations will look up to and admire.

To become such a person, a Jew must carefully guard the two pathways to his neshamah, his eyes and his ears. He must not view what is forbidden and he must not listen to what is forbidden. And he must carefully guard his power of speech, which defines his essence as a human being.

IN A NUTSHELL
The sins of speaking and listening to lashon hara are stated explicitly in the Torah and bring death and destruction to the world.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Preface (continued)

From verses in Tanach and teachings found in the Gemara, we see how important it is to correct bad midos. Anger is compared to idol worship, and we are told to be kind and compassionate. Yet, there is no mitzvah in the Torah that specifically prohibits us from showing anger or cruelty.

R’ Chaim Vital, famed talmid of the holy Arizal, explained that the Torah does not include avoiding anger and cruelty as part of the 613 mitzvos because developing good midos precedes the mitzvos. Good midos are the foundation of Torah. Without good midos, it is impossible to observe the mitzvos properly and to be elevated by them.

Yet, Hashem did see fit to include not one but two prohibitions against speaking lashon hara as part of the 613 mitzvos.1 This, says the Chofetz Chaim, underscores what we have already said, that lashon hara is more damaging than other forms of bad behavior. Evil speech is terribly damaging to the people who are the victims of such talk and terribly damaging to the Jewish people as a whole, for it empowers the Satan in a way that other sins do not.

There is another reason, says the Chofetz Chaim, why Hashem saw fit to include two mitzvos lo sa’aseh in the Torah against speaking lashon hara. Through speaking lashon hara, a person can transgress virtually every mitzvah in the Torah that is bein adam lachaveiro (between man and his fellow)! And he can also transgress quite a number of mitzvos bein adam laMakom (between man and Hashem). No wonder Talmud Yerushalmi states that just as the study of Torah equals all others mitzvos combined, the sin of lashon hara equals all other sins combined!

In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim offers his own explanation of Talmud Yerushalmi’s statement. Mitzvos other than Torah study are physical in nature. For tzitzis, one dons a garment, a lulav is held in one’s hand, a shofar is blown, etc.

Targum Onkelos translates “And man became a living being” as “And man became a speaking spirit.” The power of speech is a function of the neshamah. (This is why animals cannot speak.) Torah study, in which the power of speech is used, is a “neshamah mitzvah.” This is why it equals all other mitzvos combined.

And speaking lashon hara is a “neshamah aveirah.” This is why it equals all sins combined.

In the lessons that follow, the Chofetz Chaim will list the 31 mitzvos that one can possibly be guilty of when speaking lashon hara.

Sefer Chofetz Chaim is a book of laws. The Chofetz Chaim saw fit to list these 31 mitzvos as an introduction to these laws, so that we will approach the study of this sefer with an understanding that we are about to embark on a journey of utmost importance.

Living by the laws of Sefer Chofetz Chaim can change a person’s life, in this world and the next.

IN A NUTSHELL:
The sin of lashon hara is equal to all sins combined and can cause one to transgress many, many mitzvos.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Preface

Our opening lesson spoke of Hashem’s deep love for every Jew. In this lesson, the Chofetz Chaim quotes the verse “‘I love you,’ says Hashem … ” and he describes the various ways by which Hashem refers to His beloved people: “My children, My portion, My inheritance.” It is obvious that, indeed, Hashem loves us very, very much.

It is because Hashem loves us so much that He cautions us to rid ourselves of bad midos. Evil habits such as speaking lashon hara lead to quarreling and bitterness. A home that is free of lashon hara and rechilus (evil speech that causes bad feelings between people) is a happy, peaceful home — and Hashem wants very much that we should be happy.

Some people derive pleasure from speaking lashon hara. Those who live by the laws of shemiras halashon and carefully guard their tongues know that the pleasure of refraining from evil talk far outweighs
the fleeting pleasure of relating an exciting piece oflashon hara. This is in addition to the spiritual reward for refraining from lashon hara, of which the Vilna Gaon (quoting the Midrash) said: “even Heavenly angels cannot fathom it.”

The complete verse in which the Torah forbids Lashon reads, “You shall not be a gossipmonger among your people, you shall not stand aside while your fellow’s blood is shed — I am Hashem.” The second part of the verse teaches that we are obligated to try to rescue someone’s life if we possibly can, and if we don’t try, then we have sinned.

What is the connection between the two halves of this verse? The Chofetz Chaim explains: Lashon hara can be deadly, like shedding blood. As an example, he cites the story of Doeg HaAdomi, whose slander resulted in the murder of an entire city of Kohanim.

While such cases are extreme, lashon hara can and has destroyed lives in a different sense. Families, friendships and entire communities have been ruined because of lashon hara and the bad feelings that it caused.
In fact, the Chofetz Chaim’s son, R’ Aryeh Leib, wrote that this is what impelled his father to author this sefer. In his words:
It seems to me that one particular episode aroused my father’s pure spirit to compose this work. When he was about twenty-four years old, a dispute erupted in our town between some members of the community and the rav. Ultimately, the rav was forced to leave the town and took a position elsewhere. As I recall, the rav passed away a few years later. It was said in our town that within a few years, the rav’s opponents fell victim to Divine punishment on this world.
It was not long after this that my father involved himself with the study and writing of the laws of lashon hara.

IN A NUTSHELL
Living by the laws of shemiras halashon is the key to a peaceful, happy home and life.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

Some may claim, says the Chofetz Chaim, that it is better not to study these halachos. They might say: “Don’t our Sages teach that it is better to let someone sin unintentionally than to point out his error, if you are sure that he will continue to sin in any case?1 So why learn the laws of lashon hara? Everyone knows that it is nearly impossible to avoid speaking lashon hara — unless you want to be a hermit and not speak to anyone!”

The Chofetz Chaim convincingly refutes this claim with the following points:

The rule that one should not try to correct someone who will definitely ignore the rebuke does not apply to a sin that is stated explicitly in the Torah. Since the Torah explicitly prohibits lashon hara, we are required to alert everyone to the gravity of this sin.

The Gemara states that no one is innocent of the sin of avak lashon hara (statements that either hint to lashon hara or might lead to lashon hara). The Chofetz Chaim states that this is only said of the average person. However, someone who studies the laws of lashon hara and strives to live by them can avoid even avak lashon hara. It is reasonable to assume that the Chofetz Chaim was speaking from experience; he was so knowledgeable of the halachos and so careful to apply them that he probably avoided even avak lashon hara at all times.

At the very least, studying these halachos will ensure that we will not be in the category of a baal lashon hara, someone with a loose tongue who has no regard for the mitzvah of shemiras halashon and speaks whatever comes to mind. Our Sages state that such a person’s evil speech is equivalent to the Three Cardinal Sins (idol worship, immorality, and murder) and that he will not merit to greet the Shechinah.

We may add one more point. Shemiras halashon should not be seen as something difficult, which we do because Hashem has not given us a choice. We can apply to shemiras halashon what the Mishnah says regarding Torah study: “If you do this” you will have the best of both this world and the World to Come.

What does the expression “If you do this” imply?

Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian explained: If someone were to ask you, “I’ve never tasted wine in my life — what does wine taste like?” you might respond, “Well, it’s a little sweet and a little sour.” Of course, this tells the questioner very little. There is only one way to really know what wine tastes like — by tasting it.

Similarly, there is only one way to understand how beautiful life can be when one lives without luxury while devoting himself to Torah study: “If you do this …”

And only one who lives by the rules of shemiras halashon and carefully avoids lashon hara can truly appreciate how wonderful life is when we speak only good of our fellow man.

IN A NUTSHELL
We are required to learn the laws of shemiras halashon and can surely live by them, if we will only try.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We live in a world where, unfortunately, falsehood is all too common. Advertising, which is a multibillion-dollar industry, often tries to convince people that products of poor quality are the best that money can buy. Politicians running for office will say anything that can get them elected. To exaggerate in order to make a point is accepted as normal.
This is not the Torah way. The Chofetz Chaim was exceptional in his midas ha’emes, quality of truth, both in how he lived and how he spoke. It was only natural, then, that when writing his very first sefer, Chofetz Chaim, he would be exceptionally careful in choosing the right words for each halachah.
In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim tells us how careful he was:
Every paragraph of this sefer has been carefully researched (together with friends who are gedolei Torah). I searched again and again to make sure that nothing contradicts anything in Shas. Many times, I concentrated on one point for many days until, with Hashem’s help, I clarified the matter according to Torah truth.
My hope to Hashem is that a reader who will examine each halachah carefully will see that we were exact with every word in this sefer … Whoever will judge me favorably will be judged by Hashem the same way.
One of the great Torah giants of the previous generation, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky, made a fascinating statement regarding the writings of the Chofetz Chaim: Because the Chofetz Chaim was exceptionally careful with his words in daily life (and perhaps also because he taught the Jewish nation to be very careful in matters of speech), he merited a special siyata diShmaya (assistance from Heaven). We know that the writings of the Rishonim (Early Commentators) are very precise. Every word is measured and requires careful study. R’ Yaakov wrote that the Chofetz Chaim’s works were written with this kind of precision and we should measure each one of his words very carefully.

The Midrash tells us that if a Jew toils to study the laws of a particular sin, then Hashem will reward him by weakening his yetzer hara for that sin. Thus, says the Chofetz Chaim, learning these laws will weaken a person’s desire to speak lashon hara. Once a person controls his speech a bit, as time goes on he will learn to control it more and more until he has mastered the great quality of shemiras halashon.

If someone makes an effort to improve, then he is granted siyata diShmaya to accomplish his goal. When we study Sefer Chofetz Chaim, we are making an effort to improve our speech. Hashem will surely assist us in our efforts, and with time we will feel the joy and satisfaction of using the gift of speech only for the good.

IN A NUTSHELL

Every word of Sefer Chofetz Chaim was written with exacting precision. Studying these laws qill weaken our desire to speak lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

Such great Torah personalities as the Brisker Rav and Rav Aharon Kotler marveled at the Chofetz Chaim’s greatness in Torah. They felt that his tzidkus, outstanding piety, caused people to overlook his ge’onus, genius in Torah. When we open his works on halachah, Sefer Chofetz Chaim and Sefer Mishnah Berurah, we gain a bit of insight into how wide-ranging his knowledge was. We also gain insight into the Chofetz Chaim’s ameilus, his incredible effort in searching for every source of every law, leaving no stone unturned in his quest to clarify the halachah.

In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim writes:

Therefore [i.e. because of the many misconceptions people have regarding lashon hara] I have gathered my strength, with the help of Hashem, to compile all the laws of lashon hara and rechilus in a single sefer. I gathered these laws from wherever they are scattered through Shas and the poskim (codifiers) — especially the Rambam, Smag and Sefer Shaarei Teshuvah by Rabbeinu Yonah, z”l, who show us the way in these halachos …
I have called the sefer “Chofetz Chaim,” based on the verse” Who is the man who desires life, who loves days of seeing good? Guard your tongue from evil …” (Tehillim 34:13-14)

Each section of Sefer Chofetz Chaim is comprised of two sub-sections: the halachos, which the Chofetz Chaim named Mekor Chaim(Source of Life), and the sources of the halachos, which he named Be’er Mayim Chaim(The Wellsprings of Water of Life).

The Chofetz Chaim did not choose these names at random. When the first man was created and Hashem blew life into him, the Torah states, “And man became a living being”, which Targum translates as “a speaking being.”

What defines us as human beings is our power of speech. This is what distinguishes us from animals and all other creatures. To whatever degree we refine our way of speaking, we have given more meaning to our humanity. A person who uses his power of speech to lie, make fun of others, speak badly of others or for vulgar language is lowering his level of humanity. It is, in a sense, as if he is saying, “I’m really not much different than the other creatures of this world.”

Let us be careful how we speak so that we will be more elevated, spiritual and happy people.

IN A NUTSHELL
Sefer Chofetz Chaim is truly a “source of life,” because the power of speech is what defines us as human being.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We have already demonstrated that lashon hara is one of the worst sins that a Jew can commit, that it causes enormous harm in Heaven, that it had the power to destroy the Beis HaMikdash and send us into exile.

Then why, asks the Chofetz Chaim, are so many people not careful about speaking and listening to lashon hara?

He answers: People who are unlearned simply do not know the facts. They mistakenly think that if the information being said is true, then it is not lashon hara.

Of course, this is a terrible mistake. We are not allowed to speak negatively about anyone even when we are absolutely certain that the information is true. (If it is false information, then the speaker would be guilty of hotza’as shem ra, slander, which is even worse than common lashon hara).

What about learned people, who do know the basic rules of shemiras halashon?

The yetzer hara is very clever. He has ways of getting anyone, including learned Jews, to sin. This is how he does it:

“Him? It’s not lashon hara to speak about him. That man is thoroughly evil, he’s always involved in machlokes (disputes)! It’s actually a mitzvah to speak against him!”

“Yes, he’s a good person, but what did I say wrong? He’s not that bright … so what? I didn’t say that he’s a bad person!”

In the Chofetz Chaim’s words: “The yetzer hara works on two fronts. Either he convinces the person that the statement is not at all lashon hara, or that the sin of lashon hara does not apply when speaking about that individual.”

And if these tactics do not succeed, the yetzer hara has one more weapon in his arsenal. “You’re not going to speak lashon hara? Well, then, I guess you plan to be a hermit for the rest of your life. There is no way that you can live among people and socialize without speaking lashon hara.”

This statement is patently false. Rather than cause a person to become a hermit, shemiras halashon is what permits us to speak. Once a person becomes knowledgeable in these all-important laws, he knows what he may and may not say in conversation.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes that the situation in his days (before he wrote his sefer) was sad indeed. Many people did not see lashon hara as a sin at all. If someone tried to stop such a person from degrading another Jew, the response might have been, “What are you trying to do — make me into some sort of tzaddik?”

The Chofetz Chaim was determined to change this terrible situation.

IN A NUTSHELL

The Satan has clever ways of convincing good people to transgress the terribly destructive sin of lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction (Continued)

We live in very difficult times. How great is our yearning for the coming of Mashiach and the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash, when our nation’s suffering will end! The question is: What can we do to make this happen?

A lot, says the Chofetz Chaim, for it is within our power to end this galus.

The Gemara teaches that the primary sin that led to the destruction of the Second Beis HaMikdash was sinas chinam, baseless hatred among Jews. The Chofetz Chaim says that hatred alone would not have caused the Churban. The Gemara must be referring to hatred and the lashon hara that it brought about. And, if the sin of lashon hara brought us into galus, surely it has the power to keep us there.

Furthermore, says the Chofetz Chaim, it was following an episode involving lashon hara that Hashem decreed exile upon His beloved people.

The Torah states that when the Meraglim (Spies) returned from their mission in Eretz Yisrael with a slanderous report, the Jews were punished by having to remain in the Wilderness for forty years. The Gemara teaches that they were punished in another way as well:

R’ Yochanan said: This day [when they returned with their report] was Erev Tishah B’Av [and the people cried that night after hearing the report]. HaKadosh Baruch Hu said: ‘You wept for no reason. I will establish this night for you as a time of weeping for all generations.’”

Thus, because of the Spies’ lashon hara, the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash and our nation’s exile were decreed.

The Chofetz Chaim makes another important point, which we will now elaborate on.

Receiving a blessing from a tzaddik is something very special. A tzaddik’s words have great power in Heaven, and therefore his blessings are eagerly sought.

Far greater than a tzaddik’s blessing is a blessing received directly from Hashem. No one would intentionally do something that might cause him to squander such a blessing — or so it would seem.

The Torah states: “Cursed is the one who attacks his neighbor in secrecy.”3 This refers to one who “attacks” his neighbor secretly by speaking lashon hara about him.4 Says the Chofetz Chaim, “How can the berachos of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, which we yearn for, come to rest upon us when, to our misfortune, we are in the habit of committing this sin?”

So the next time you are tempted to speak lashon hara, think to yourself, “Hashem loves me and wants to shower me with berachah, and I certainly want to receive His berachah. I had better guard my tongue — there is too much at stake.”

IN A NUTSHELL
The key to ending this galus and to meriting Hashem’s infinite blessings is to eradicate the sins of sinas chinam and lashon hara.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Introduction

The Chofetz Chaim begins his magnificent work on the laws of shemiras halashon (guarding one’s speech) by summarizing our purpose in life. Hashem separated us from the other nations, gave us His precious Torah, and brought us to the holy land of Eretz Yisrael so that we could become a holy people by keeping His mitzvos (commandments). “His intention is entirely for our good,” says the Chofetz Chaim, “for by living a Torah life, we make ourselves deserving of Hashem’s kindness, in this world and the next. “

Hashem loves us very, very much, – more than we can imagine. Therefore, He gave us the 613 mitzvos, 613 precious gifts through which we we are able to draw close to Hashem and earn His blessings. And, says the Chofetz Chaim, Hashem has shown us His love in another important way:

If a person gives someone a gift and then sees that the recipient fails to appreciate what he has been given, the donor may take the gift back. Hashem, however, takes a different approach. In His great love for us, He seeks ways to awaken us to teshuvah (repentance) so that we can continue to earn His great blessings. Therefore, throughout the period of the first Beis HaMikdash (Holy Temple), Hashem sent nevi’im (prophets), who told our ancestors what they were doing wrong and guided them along the path of teshuvah.

Eventually, due to our sins, Hashem had no choice but to banish us from our land. However, He stands ready to redeem us, if only we will correct the sins that led to our exile.

We can accomplish this by focusing on how much Hashem loves us. In Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, the Chofetz Chaim offers a powerful mashal(parable):

Reuven and Shimon are involved in a bitter dispute. One day, someone approaches Reuven and says, “You know, the other day I saw one of the Torah giants of our time showing great love and respect for Shimon.”
Reuven is surprised, to say the least. However, he is not convinced. Perhaps Shimon is a top-notch faker, so that he can trick even the leaders of the generation into thinking that he is a tzaddik!
Then someone tells Reuven, “I saw the great Tanna Rabi Yehudah HaNasi showing great love and admiration for Shimon.” Another man approaches Reuven and says, “I heard Eliyahu HaNavi say that he heard Hashem saying that He loves Shimon very much.”
“Woe is me!” Reuven cries. “How wrong I’ve been about Shimon!”

Hashem loves every Jew with a deep, unconditional love. How, then, can we dislike or speak against any Jew? Is it possible to hate the person Hashem loves?

IN A NUTSHELL
We must focus on how much Hashem loves each and every one of us, and how He yearns, as it were, to return us to our Land and rebuild the Beis HaMikdash.

-A project of Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — conclusion

After completing his discussion of shidduchim, the Chofetz Chofetz concludes his masterpiece with the following:

It was my intention to offer other illustrations, regarding craftsmen, hired laborers and servants. However, because of the high cost of printing and my preoccupation with other matters at this time, I have refrained from doing so.

The general rule is: One needs to maintain a careful watch over his own behavior, especially the words that he utters. He should not become involved in matters bein adam la’chaveiro without first clarifying the facts thoroughly. His intention should be to accomplish something constructive, and he should not act out of hatred. He should ponder the results that his words will cause, so that nothing will occur that is contrary to halachah, G-d forbid. If he does so, Hashem will assist him so that he will not be ensnared in the yetzer hara’s trap.

May the Rock of Israel save us from any errors and show us the wonders of His Torah. Blessed is Hashem forever, amen v’amen.

The Chofetz Chaim mentions the high cost of printing. In Rabbi Moshe Yoshor’s biography of the Chofetz Chaim, he writes that the Chofetz Chaim borrowed 1,000 rubles for the printing of the first edition of Sefer Chofetz Chaim. To ensure that he would be able to repay these loans, he traveled to towns in the vicinity of his hometown, Radin, and obtained signatures of 1,000 subscribers who would purchase the sefer upon its publication.

Thus, we see that it was with great mesiras nefesh that the Chofetz Chaim published this work.

Yet, he took no credit for Sefer Chofetz Chaim and its companion work, Sefer Shemiras HaLashon, publishing them anonymously. In his memoirs, the Chofetz Chaim’s son, R’ Aryeh Leib, wrote:

I once asked my father why he published Sefer Chofetz Chaim anony­mously. He replied, “It was not in my merit that these works came to be published; it was in the collective merit of the Jewish people. For per­haps through the study of these works, we will see a diminishing of the sin of lashon hara, which caused the death of the Dor HaMidbar, the destruction of the second Beis HaMikdash, and our dispersion among the gentiles. Thus, the honor for publishing this work is not mine.”

R’ Aryeh Leib also wrote of his father’s personal caution in matters of speech:

With regard to shemiras halashon, it is my feeling that my father sur­passed his entire generation. Most incredible was the fact that he was not a man who refrained from talking, and he was the main speaker at every gathering. No one ever claimed to have heard my father say something improper or derogatory.

Let us resolve to remain talmidim of the Chofetz Chaim all our lives by reviewing his teachings again and again, and striving to live by them. In this way, we will live happier and more spiritual lives, and will play an important role in ending this galus through the coming of Mashiach, speedily and in our times.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations (continued)

The Chofetz Chaim continues his discussion of shidduchim. In this segment, he discusses financial arrangements. As in any other agreement between two sides, both the chasan’s and kallah’s

families must honor any financial commitments that were made prior to the engagement.

What if someone knows that one side cannot or will not honor his commitment? If the engagement has not yet taken place, one would be allowed to reveal this information, if the five conditions listed in Day 107 have been met. If the couple is already engaged, then one can only reveal the information if the result will not be contrary to halachah. If the party will react by immediately breaking the shidduch without having someone speak to the other side or without consulting a rav, then the information should not be provided.

Too many partnerships have been destroyed and friendships ruined by well-meaning people who incited one side against the other.

The firm of Stellman and Stone had been in business for thirty years, and was one of the most solid, successful businesses of its kind. Then, one day, Chaim Stellman was approached by a good friend, Arnie Manfeld.

“Chaim, someone told me that the profits in your business are divided 55-45 with Norman (Stone) taking the larger share. Is that correct?”

“Well, yes, that was our agreement when we first started the business. You see, we started the firm with Norman’s money and he is the smarter businessman. We agreed

from the start that I would be a junior partner.”

“Chaim, what’s the matter with you? That was thirty years ago! By now, you should be an equal partner. Don’t let Stone cheat you out of what’s rightfully yours.”

Until that day, the two partners had been close friends and their business relationship was one of mutual respect. From that day on, things changed. Incited by his friend Arnie, Chaim demanded to be an equal partner. Norman turned down the request, though he felt bad and tried his best to explain his position. After two months of haggling, the two partners were no longer on speaking terms. Six months later, the partnership was dissolved.

While the above story is fiction, similar stories have actually happened. It is crucial that Jews be well versed in the laws of lashon hara and rechilus and make sure that their conversation is guided by these laws.

IN A NUTSHELL
Extreme caution must be exercised when offering negative information to a party in a partnership.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations (continued)

It is remarkable that the verse which begins “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” concludes with “Do not stand by as your brother’s blood is being shed.”

In its plain meaning, this second prohibition forbids us to stand by idly when we see that a Jew’s life is in danger.

Obviously if the Torah placed this prohibition in the very same verse as the primary prohibition against speaking lashon hara and rechilus, there must be some connection between them. Earlier in this sefer, the Chofetz Chaim explained that rechilus can “kill” three: the speaker, the listener, and the subject. The Torah is telling us: “Don’t cause your brother’s blood to be spilled by speaking evil of him.”

We know that a single verse of the Torah can be interpreted in a variety of ways. In today’s segment, the Chofetz Chaim sees a completely different connection between “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” and “Do not stand by as your brother’s blood is being shed.” The Torah is telling us that although speaking lashon hara is usually a terrible, destructive sin, there are times when one must speak lashon hara, in order to prevent someone from being harmed. In these situations, if one chooses to remain silent, he will have transgressed the sin of standing by idly while his fellow Jew’s blood is being spilled.

For example: A couple is engaged or on the verge of becoming engaged, and one knows that the chasan has a serious internal illness of which the kallah’s family is unaware; or, one knows firsthand that the chasan, who gives the appearance of being a G-d-fearing Jew, is actually an apikores (non-believer). In these cases, one is obligated to relate the information. If one chooses to remain silent so that the marriage takes place and the kallah’s life is ruined, then he is guilty of “Do not stand by as your brother’s blood is being shed.”

Of course, the same would apply if one knows such information about the kallah.

If someone is seeking a shidduch for his daughter and inquires about a certain young man’s level of learning, then those who are asked are required to respond honestly. However, if the family did not make any inquiries, one should not offer such information. If it was really important that their daughter marry a talmid chacham, the parents would have investigated the matter properly on their own.

The following actually happened:

A few teenage classmates were engaged in light conversation. One of them said, “You know, I heard that our rebbi’s sister has a heart condition.” Later, that sister was suggested as a possible shidduch for a brother of one of those boys. The boy told his parents, “I don’t think you should consider this suggestion. I heard she has a heart condition.” The parents accepted their son’s report as fact and called off the shidduch.

Later, it was discovered that this young woman did not have a heart condition. She had been congested one day, and was panting for breath. Someone assumed that her shortness of breath indicated a

heart problem and that person carelessly “spread the word.”

Yes, lashon hara can be very destructive, especially in sensitive matters such as shidduchim.

IN A NUTSHELL

There are times when one should offer negative information about a shidduch without being asked, and there are times when one should remain silent.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations (continued)

The Chofetz Chaim now moves on to the important and sensitive topic of shidduchim. He states what, on the surface, seems a simple halachah:

The Radomers are considering Yossi Gerdman as a match for their daughter. They are very excited by the information they have heard and are on the verge of arranging a meeting. Mr. Radomer’s close friend, Mr. Backston, is aware of this and is concerned. He knows something that the Radomers don’t know — Yossi is very hot-tempered, which, of course, can be very detrimental to the success of a marriage. He knows with certainty that if the Radomers would know this information, they would never consider Yossi for their daughter.

Mr. Backston is obligated to share this information with the Radomers.

However, the Chofetz Chaim cautions that sometimes, what some consider glaring faults are, in fact, qualities to be admired. In his words:

One must be very careful not to act shamefully by speaking negatively about a shidduch prospect when there is no basis for this. For example, sometimes the young man is a sincere, innocent type, who is not sharp enough to recognize the shrewdness and sneakiness of others; or, he does not want to sit with others his age and ridicule people as some are wont to do. Therefore, they speak of him in town as a total fool, and as a result, people do not want to consider him for their daughters; if he is engaged, his future in-laws might consider breaking the shidduch …

May Hashem cut off all lips of smooth talk! Not only are these people baalei lashon hara, they are also baalei motzi shem ra (slanderers), since their criticisms are false.

The Chofetz Chaim labels such slanderers machti’ei harabbim, those who cause many to sin. No one wants to be ridiculed, so good, sincere people often feel compelled to adopt this loud, mocking style so that they will be treated with honor, not scorn. Initially they do this out of fear, but eventually they become used to this type of behavior and it becomes part of their very nature.

The Chofetz Chaim advises us to keep far away from the coarse individuals who are the cause of such behavior. He cites a verse in Mishlei: “My child, if sinners entice you, do not consent … do not walk on the road with them; restrain your foot from their pathway.” He also cites a mishnah: “Better to be called a fool all one’s life, rather than be consid­ered wicked for a moment before Hashem.”

In the opening chapter of Mesilas Yesharim, Rabbi Moshe ChaimLuzzato tells us what this world is really all about.

Hashem has placed man in a world where there are many factors thatcan distance a person from Him … Man is truly placed in the midst ofa raging battle, for all things in this world, whether for good or for bad,are tests for a person.

One of the greatest tests a person can face is peer pressure. Whenpeople who are popular and influential are behaving in a certain way,the temptation to act like them can be exceedingly strong. “I want to be liked and respected. I want to belong and to be part of the crowd. And Icertainly do not want to be looked down upon or, worse yet, ridiculed.”

It is at such times that one must take to heart the mishnah the Chofetz Chaim cites: “Better to be called a fool all one’s life, rather than be considered wicked for one moment before Hashem.”

IN A NUTSHELL

Faults that are clearly relevant should be revealed, but beware of revealing “faults” which, in fact, are not faults at all.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Hilchos Rechilus — Closing Illustrations

The Chofetz Chaim concludes his sefer with a number of illustrations of the laws of rechilus.

The first is where someone you know contemplates a business partnership with a person whom he considers honest and capable. However, you know that the person is dishonest and is careless when he is investing other people’s money. In this case, you would be correct — and, in fact, obligated — to advise your friend not to enter into this partnership, provided that the five conditions in Day 107 have been met.

However, the Chofetz Chaim points out that sometimes it would be a serious mistake to interfere.

Hershel is troubled. His good friend Danny is on the verge of opening a business with Noach as his partner. But Danny does not know that Noach had been partners in a different business until six months ago, when the stock market crash brought his business crashing down as well.

“Noach’s fortunes have taken a downward turn,” Hershel is thinking. “I wouldn’t join him in a busi­ness venture right now — and I don’t think Danny should either. I’d better warn him.”

In such a case, says the Chofetz Chaim, it would be a great sin to reveal the information to Danny. The fact that Noach’s business has collapsed through no fault of his own does not indicate in any way that he will not be successful in the future. To the contrary, perhaps now Hashem will have mercy upon him and he will succeed. The Chofetz Chaim also notes that the highest form of tzedakah is to help a person be self-supporting;1 going into partnership with Noach can grant him the livelihood he des­perately needs. And, as stated in Shulchan Aruch, one cannot lose from fulfilling the mitzvah of tzedakah.

If the partnership is already a reality, then, as mentioned above, even if Hershel knows that Noach is dishonest or reckless, he would only be allowed to reveal this if Danny will take the matter before a beis din and not dissolve the partnership on his own.

The Chofetz Chaim then offers a scenario where Hershel has other intentions.

Hershel’s friend Danny is desperate. In the past five years, he has tried his hand at five different businesses, and all of them failed miserably

— for good reason. Danny simply does not have good business sense. He buys poor merchandise at inflated prices, and he misses countless opportunities to buy top-quality items at rock-bottom prices.

Now, Danny wants to try his hand at a new business, but he needs a partner who will supply the capital for this venture. Anyone who knows of Danny and his business career would never consider such a partnership.

But Noach does not know Danny at all. Hershel, who feels very bad for Danny, decides to convince Noach, who has plenty of money, to become Danny’s partner.

It is forbidden for Hershel to suggest the partnership to Noach. If he does, then he has transgressed “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block” which prohibits us from misleading others.

IN A NUTSHELL

We must be extremely careful before suggesting that someone enter or not enter into a partnership with others.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:14-15

The Chofetz Chaim begins this segment with the following case:

Reuven was wronged in some way, and he does not know the culprit’s identity. He asks Shimon, “Who did this to me?” Though Shimon knows that Reuven suspects him, he is not allowed to reveal the cul­prit’s identity even if he witnessed the act. All he can respond is, “I didn’t do it.”

Of course, in a case where the five conditions of Day 107 have been met, Shimon would be permitted to reveal the person’s identity.

The Chofetz Chaim cautions: If the leaders of a community vote on a certain issue and someone in the community is upset with the outcome, it is forbidden for any of the leaders to tell him, “Don’t blame me — I voted against it, but majority rules.” This is rechilus, for it may allow the person to deduce who voted in favor, and he will feel anger towards them.

Such votes should be kept confidential.

The Chofetz Chaim then bemoans a tragic situation that should never happen:

A peddler brings merchandise to town and many are interested in purchasing his wares. One man picks out an item he wishes to buy and tells the peddler, “I don’t have any money with me. Please put this aside and don’t sell it to anyone. I’m going home to get money.” The peddler agrees to hold the merchandise for him.

The customer returns with his money later that day. The peddler tells him, “So-and-so came along and begged me to sell him that item. I didn’t want to, but he was so insistent; he threw the money on the counter, and practically forced me to sell it to him. I didn’t want to get into a fight with him so I gave in and let him buy it.”

Assuming the peddler’s account is true, he would still have been guilty of speaking rechilus. The sale was a valid sale and nothing is to be gained from telling the original customer the name of the person who wrongfully took the merchandise.

The Chofetz Chaim notes that in many such situations, the peddler is not telling the truth. He sold the item willingly for a better price, but rather than admit it, he places the blame upon the customer.

It would even be forbidden for the peddler to say, “I sold it to So-and­so, and it’s my fault. I knew he would give me more money, so I didn’t tell him that I already agreed to sell it to you.” The Chofetz Chaim says that even in this case, the original customer may feel ill will towards the man who bought what rightfully should have been his.

IN A NUTSHELL

Secrets ballots should remain secret.

When someone is upset over losing a purchase, do not tell him the purchaser’s name.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:13

In Day 109 we learned that one is permitted to tell someone he was cheated only if that person will not react by doing something contrary to halachah. In the case of Shaya and “Shakran’s Clothing,” (Days 111-112), one can inform Shaya that he was cheated only if he knows Shaya to be a G-d-fearing Jew, who would take a disagreement over money to beis din and not take the law into his own hands.

The Chofetz Chaim bemoans the fact that some do not follow the above guidelines.

Ezra is driving a 2005 Honda out of the “Incredible Used Cars” lot. “I don’t believe it,” Aaron thinks to himself. “He bought a used car from that thief, Moe Sandal? I have no doubt that Moe cheated him. He probably picked up the car in some junk yard and painted it to make it look good.”

That night after Maariv, Aaron approaches Ezra and says, “So how much did you pay for that Honda?”

“$9,000.”

“I was afraid you’d say something like that,” Aaron replied. “I doubt the car is worth more than $5,000. Did you already pay in full?”

“No, only half. I’m supposed to pay the rest over the next few months.”

“Well then, you’re in good shape. Give Moe another $500 and tell him that you heard from an expert that the car is only worth $5,000. If he doesn’t like that — well, too bad.”

The Chofetz Chaim mentions that in many instances, people give such advice purely out of hatred. Aaron may have had some previous dispute with Moe and is eager to “even the score.” He has no right to assume that the car is not worth the price, and he certainly is wrong for suggesting that Ezra withhold payment without taking the matter before a beis din.

The Chofetz Chaim enumerates Aaron’s “accomplishments”:

• He has spoken rechilus.

• He has transgressed “And before a blind person do not place a stumbling block.” With these words, the Torah cautions us not to cause others to sin. Aaron has caused Ezra to sin by inciting him to act in a way that is contrary to halachah.

• He has caused a machlokes which undoubtedly will lead to transgression of “And you shall not aggrieve one another, “which is the sin of “Ona’as Devarim” causing pain through hurtful words; and a host of other sins that machlokes brings about.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes:

How careful one must be not to become involved in such matters with­out first carefully considering all that we have written above. If he will act accordingly, Hashem will assist him so that no mishap will come about through him.

IN A NUTSHELL

Those who advise others to break agreements without going to beis din are guilty of numerous sins.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:11-12

Returning to the case of “Shakran’s Clothing”:

What if Shaya has already purchased the suit? Would Nachi be allowed to tell him that he was cheated?

The Chofetz Chaim explains:

If he [Shaya] already purchased the merchandise and the other person [Nachi] knows that he was cheated, either in the price or some defect in the merchandise, then it depends:

If according to halachah, the buyer is not entitled to any refund … then surely, whoever incites the buyer by showing how he was cheated has been guilty of speaking rechilus. [The reason is simple:] Since, according to halachah, he has no claim, informing the buyer that he has been cheated is mere prattling, like a typical gossiper who goes from place to place bringing information from one person to another.

Even if the buyer asks someone if he thinks he was cheated, the person should not tell him the truth. Surely it would be a great sin to convey such information, if he knows that the buyer will react by causing the seller a loss (either by seizing one of his possessions, or by withholding some of the money that he still owes).

However, if the person [Nachi] understands that halachah would grant the buyer either a partial or complete refund, and the buyer would want to claim this refund, then he must be told the truth, provided that:

• The person does not exaggerate the facts at all.

• His primary intention is to correct the wrong and get the buyer his money, and not to rejoice over the seller’s shame. On this note, it is important that the buyer be the kind of person who would actually take the seller to beis din to claim his money. If the buyer would not go to beis din and would just be angry at the seller, then he should not be told the truth even if he inquiries about it.

In a case where the buyer cannot claim anything in beis din, it is a mitzvah to praise the purchase in his presence. This is not a transgression of “Distance yourself from falsehood,” for, as our Sages state clear­ly, it is a mitzvah to make someone feel good and praise his purchase.

If it seems that he [Nachi] can convince the seller to refund the money; or, if there is any other way for him to get the buyer his refund without resorting to rechilus, he is required to do so.

The buyer should be someone who is not prone to speaking rechilus. Otherwise, we must be concerned that he will approach the seller and say, “So-and-so told me that I was cheated,” which would be rechilus. In such a case, it is questionable whether one would be allowed to inform the buyer, since by doing so he would cause him to speak rechi­lus. It would seem, says the Chofetz Chaim, that if the buyer will heed the warning, “Don’t tell him that I told you this!” then it is permitted to inform him that he was cheated.

IN A NUTSHELL

If a person has already been cheated and halachah entitles him to a refund, one is allowed to inform him, provided that he fulfills the necessary conditions.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:10

Shaya Forenberg is one of the nicest people you will ever meet; kind, honest, and utterly sincere. Shaya does not know what it means to fool someone. The problem is, he thinks that everyone is like him.

Ben Shakran of Shakran Clothing knows Shaya well. When Shaya’s son became engaged, Ben told him, “Shaya, come to me for your wedding suit. Because you’re my friend and you’re making a simchah, I’ll charge you half price.”

Shaya was overcome with gratitude. “I am short on money and I don’t know how to thank you. I’ll be at your store first thing in the morning.”

Ben did not realize that Nachi Cohen had overheard the conversation. Nachi knew the sad truth: Ben was not an honest salesman. He would say anything to convince a customer to make a purchase, including lying about the quality of his merchandise.

Nachi himself had almost been victimized by Ben. He was about to purchase a suit that was “on sale” for only $325, but something bothered him about the way the jacket looked. He decided to hold off on his purchase and stopped in at another suit store. He found the exact same suit, not on sale, with a $150 price tag. When he asked the proprietor why the price was so cheap, the man replied, “Because it’s not made well and that’s what the suit is worth.”

Nachi is certain that Shaya will believe anything Ben tells him. The “half-price special” Ben is offering is a hoax.

Nachi is obligated to warn Shaya not to shop in Ben’s store, despite the fact that Shaya has already agreed to buy his suit there.

If Nachi were to walk into Ben’s store and see that Shaya is about to buy a suit that is clearly not worth the price, he would be obligated to tell him not to buy it.

In all situations, Nachi must fulfill the five conditions listed in Day 107. One of those conditions is that the person has no other way to accomplish his goal other than to speak rechilus. In our example, Nachi might tell Shaya, “You know, Shaya, I overheard you talking to Ben about buying a suit for your daughter’s wedding. Take my advice, go to ‘Chatzkel’s’ for a suit. I’ve been buying my suits there for the past couple of years and I guarantee that you will be satisfied.” If Shaya accepts this suggestion, then Nachi will have accomplished his goal without resort­ing to speaking rechilus.

However, Shaya might naively reply: “No way! I’m not buying anywhere but ‘Ben’s.’ He’s my friend and he offered me a special half-price deal. I already told him I’m going to buy from him, and I’m not going back on my word!”

Left with no choice, Nachi would be allowed to enlighten Shaya con­cerning the truth of Ben’s “generous” offer.

IN A NUTSHELL

We are permitted to speak rechilus l’to’eles to prevent someone from being cheated, provided that we have fulfilled the five conditions.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:7-9

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim stresses certain points relating to rechilus that seem quite obvious. Even if someone has robbed or cheated someone, it is permitted to relate this information to the victim only if the five conditions listed above have been fulfilled.

There is no difference whether the victim asks for a report of what happened, or if the witness volun­teers the information on his own. When there is true to’eles (constructive purpose) it is permitted to relate the information even if the victim has not inquired about it. If there is no to’eles, then it is forbidden to relate it even if the victim is insistent that he be told the information.

When there is no to’eles, then it is forbidden to speak rechilus even to a third party to whom the information is not relevant, as explained above in Day 91.

One may wonder why the Chofetz Chaim found it necessary to mention points that either have already been mentioned or that seem rather obvious. One reason may be that it is all too common for people to feel confident they are not saying anything forbidden when, in fact, they have not fulfilled the five conditions of to’eles and therefore are committing a sin.

There may be another factor that compelled the Chofetz Chaim to state the obvious. It is told that an elderly Jew from Radin who knew the Chofetz Chaim once remarked, “What is the difference between the Chofetz Chaim and me? I believe in Olam Haba and the Chofetz Chaim believes in Olam Haba. To me, Olam Haba is a distant reality, while to the Chofetz Chaim, Olam Haba is as real as the room next door. He sees it before his eyes.”

We know that the effects of lashon hara and rechilus in Heaven are devastating, far worse than that of other sins. This is something we believe. To the Chofetz Chaim, it was “as real as the room next door.” He saw the destructiveness before his eyes, and in his love for his fellow Jews, he cautions us about that which we might not have understood on our own.

Rabbi Aryeh Levin, famed tzaddik of Jerusalem a generation ago, related the following:

When I was young boy growing up in Lithuania, our town was visited one day by the holy Chofetz Chaim. I was in the town shul when the Chofetz Chaim was escorted inside for the first time. He noticed that the sign at the chazzan’s amud with the verse “Shvisi L’Hashem l’negdi tamid” (I set Hashem before me always) was charred at the edges from the smoke of the candles that burned at the amud. The Chofetz Chaim asked why the sign was not protected by glass. Someone responded, “For a long time we’ve wanted to put glass there, but the stubborn shamas refuses to listen to us!”

“Lashon hara!” the Chofetz Chaim exclaimed — and he ran out of the shul as if from a fire.

To the Chofetz Chaim, the damage caused by lashon hara and rechi­lus was no less than that caused by a raging fire.

IN A NUTSHELL

When there is no to’eles, we may not speak rechilus to anyone, for any reason.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:5-6

In Day 107, we discussed the case of Mr. Stein who was on the verge of hiring Kregler Construction to build an extension onto his home. Mr. Willenstein was permitted to warn Mr. Stein of Mr. Kregler’s dishonest business practices, provided that he fulfilled the five conditions of rechilus l’to’eles.

What if the contract has already been signed and work has already begun? Can Mr. Willenstein now inform Mr. Stein that Mr. Kregler is going to ask him for the balance of the money and then disappear for months without finishing the job? On the surface, it would seem so. Why not warn someone that he is dealing with a dishonest person so that he can take the necessary steps to protect himself?

Once again, the Chofetz Chaim advises us to proceed cautiously. Mr. Stein might react to the news by saying, “Thank you for warning me. If Mr. Kregler does ask me for the balance before he finishes the job, then I am going to have witnesses there when I make the payment and have him sign a document that the work will be completed within ten days from when the payment was made.” This would be an excellent strategy, and Mr. Willenstein would have done a mitzvah by forewarning Mr. Stein.

However, Mr. Stein’s reaction might be altogether different. “Thanks for the tip. As soon as Kregler asks me for the balance, I’ll fire him and find someone else to finish the job. No one’s gonna play games with me!”

This would be contrary to halachah. If a contract has already been signed for the entire job, neither party would have a right to break the contract without going before a beis din and presenting his arguments to them. Beis din would hear the claims of both parties and then determine who is right.

If Mr. Willenstein knows that Mr. Stein may act against halachah and break the contract without going to beis din, then he should not inform him of Mr. Kregler’s past history.

The Chofetz Chaim makes a very interesting point. Even if two valid witnesses know of Mr. Kregler’s dishonesty and know that beis din would allow Mr. Stein to break the contract, they would not be allowed to inform Mr. Stein if they know that he will break the contract without going to beis din. Since breaking the contract without beis din’s authorization is a sin, to inform Mr. Stein would be to aid a sinner.

There is a well-known story of a famous talmid chacham, whom we will call “R’ Dovid,” who became involved in a disagreement over money. The two sides agreed to go to a beis din to resolve the matter. Upon hearing the arguments of both sides, the av beis din arose, went to a bookcase, and withdrew a sefer written by none other than R’ Dovid. He turned to a certain page and showed R’ Dovid that in an identical case, R’ Dovid had ruled that the argument he himself had just put forth was incorrect!

R’ Dovid was honest and G-d-fearing. The problem is that when someone is personally involved in something, it is virtually impossible for him to see matters clearly; his reasoning will automatically bend in his own favor.

No one who signs a contract should ever break it without speaking to a rav or going to a beis din. Even if the person considers himself a talmid chacham, he should realize that his reasoning may be influenced by his personal interests. When it comes to money matters, there is simply too much room for error.

IN A NUTSHELL

One should not relate rechilus l’to’eles to someone who will act contrary to halachah and not take his case to beis din.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:3-4

In this segment, we learn of a situation where it should be permissible to speak rechilus.

Dov delivers meat for a local butcher. One day, he was carrying a heavy box of meat down the path to the Steinwaters’ door when their automatic sprinkler system went on at the wrong time and drenched Dov from head to toe. Dov, who is known for his temper, told Mendy later that day, “I don’t care if it was a mistake. Such things should never happen. I’m going back there after midnight when every­one’s asleep and I’m going to break those sprinklers so that they never get anyone wet ever again.”

Can Mendy inform Mr. Steinwater about Dov’s plans? The Chofetz Chaim states:

If the person making the threat has a reputation for such things, meaning, he has done similar things to others previously; or, if the listener can tell that the person is not merely “letting off steam” but that he means what he says and will surely carry out his threat, then he should inform the other person in the hope that he will be able to protect himself so that he will not suffer damage. However, before relating the information, he must be careful to fulfill the five conditions listed above [in the preceding segment].

This is true only if, to Mendy’s mind, Mr. Steinwater will respond merely by protecting his property from being damaged. However, if his reaction would be “I’ll teach that guy a lesson” by drenching him a second time, which will surely enrage him even more and lead to an all-out feud, then he should not inform him of Dov’s plans.

This will mean that Dov will probably carry out his plot. Mr. Steinwater will awaken to discover that his sprinkler system has been badly damaged and might require major, costly repairs. This would be terrible, and Dov would surely owe Mr. Steinwater the cost of the dam­age, in addition to having to engage in teshuvah towards Hashem and ask forgiveness of Mr. Steinwater. And this might never happen.

Nevertheless, the damage caused is surely preferable to a fight between two hot-tempered individuals, which might lead to severe monetary damage on both sides, the possibility of a full-scale feud that will involve others, and even physical attacks.

This is why the Chofetz Chaim cautions: “Therefore, one must ponder the matter well at the outset, to determine the best way to deal with the situation.” In other words, never rush to relate rechilus or lashon hara for a constructive purpose without first determining that something constructive will really be accomplished.

Many times we do things with good intentions but the results are not good. Because speech is powerful and requires little effort, we need to be on guard at all times to ensure that we speak only words that will help, and not words that will harm.

IN A NUTSHELL

One may warn his fellow Jew about an impending attack by another Jew, provided that his warning will not bring about a full-scale feud or other negative results.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 9:1-2

In this, the concluding chapter of Sefer Chofetz Chaim, we will learn when halachah permits us to speak rechilus l’to’eles, for a constructive purpose.

Consider the following example:

The Steins are considering building an extension onto the back of their house. They have met with Yosef Kregler of Kregler Construction, and are on the verge of signing a contract with him. Mr. Stein’s good friend Henoch Willenstein is dismayed. He had a terrible experience with Mr. Kregler when he made extensive renovations on his new home. When the job was eighty-percent done, Mr. Kregler requested that the balance be paid in full. Mr. Willenstein complied, and after receiving his money, Mr. Kregler vanished for six months. When he finally reappeared, he offered no explanation, other than to say, “I couldn’t get to this job until now, but now I’ll finish it fast.” It took another two months until he finished the week’s work that remained.

The Chofetz Chaim lists five conditions that need to be fulfilled for Mr. Willenstein to be allowed to share this information with his friend, Mr. Stein.

1. He must be certain that Mr. Kregler actually was at fault. If, for example, Kregler had taken ill and this was why the work dragged on for an additional two months, it would be wrong to mention this at all.

2. He must not exaggerate.

3. His intention must be to protect Mr. Stein from harm, not to “get even” with Mr. Kregler.

4. If there is a way to protect Mr. Stein without speaking badly of Mr. Kregler, then he must take that course of action. For example, he might recommend another contractor with a sterling reputation and make no mention of Mr. Kregler.

5. He must be certain that the only result will be that Mr. Stein will not hire Mr. Kregler for the job. In other words, Mr. Kregler will not suffer any loss other than this particular job which he had been hoping to get. However, if Mr. Stein is known to have a temper and will publicly humiliate Mr. Kregler the next time they meet, then Mr. Willenstein should not provide any information.

Now, let us consider the following scenario:

Mr. Willenstein decides that his opinion of Mr. Kregler is absolutely correct and he must warn Mr. Stein. However, Mr. Stein’s reaction is, “I refuse to believe such rechilus. I have known Mr. Kregler for twenty years. I can’t believe that he wouldn’t honor his commitment. Most probably you did something to really get him upset and that’s why he was slow in finishing the job.”

Mr. Kregler was hired, and sure enough, after collecting the balance of payment, he disappeared for six weeks without completing the job. Mr. Stein finally contacted him, lost his temper, and said, “I see that Willenstein was right when he said that you would vanish once you got your money. I never should have trusted you!”

If Mr. Willenstein knows that it is unlikely that Mr. Stein will take his warning seriously, with the result being that Mr. Stein will later speak rechilus, then he should not warn him.

IN A NUTSHELL

Rechilus may be spoken l’to’eles only if all necessary conditions are met.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 8:4-5

The Torah relates that Avraham Avinu and Sarah Imeinu were visited by three angels disguised as wayfarers. During their visit, one of the angels informed Avraham that in one year, Sarah, at age 90, would give birth to her first and only child. Sarah heard the angel’s pronouncement and she found it difficult to believe. “And Sarah laughed to herself saying: ‘After I have become old, my youth will be restored — and my master [Avraham] is old!’ ”

Hashem was not pleased by Sarah’s reaction. “And Hashem said to Avraham: ‘Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Can it be true that I will give birth after I have grown old?’ ”

Hashem told Avraham only that Sarah had spoken of her own old age, but He made no mention of her having said that Avraham was old. Rashi explains that Hashem omitted this for the sake of shalom, peace, between husband and wife. Avraham might have felt bad to hear that his wife had spoken of him as an “old man.”

This is truly amazing. Avraham was 99 years old at the time — certainly not a “young man” by any standard! And Avraham was one of the greatest human beings ever to walk this earth. Yet, Hashem knew that even someone so great might feel a bit hurt that his wife spoke of him in this way.

The Chofetz Chaim states:

There are other statements that are forbidden because of avak rechilus. For example, if one relates a statement in someone’s name that is not actually derogatory, but people tend to get a bit upset when it is said in their presence.

In Be’er Mayim Chaim, the Chofetz Chaim says that the story of Avraham and Sarah is the source for this halachah. Hashem would not repeat to Avraham the words of Sarah that could have upset him a bit.

The Chofetz Chaim concludes this chapter by cautioning us not to reveal secrets that others tell us in confidence. Revealing another person’s secrets often causes him harm, and is simply bad midos. The word tznius, modesty, usually refers to the way people dress, but it has a much broader meaning. The Chofetz Chaim states that to reveal some­one else’s secrets is to deviate from the way of tznius which demands that a Jew live a modest, low-key life. One aspect of tznius is to speak when appropriate and to remain silent when that is what is required.

Rabbeinu Yonah cites two verses in Sefer Mishlei. The first is:”Holech Rochel Megaleh Sod” He who reveals a secret is a gossiper. He explains, “Do not confide your secrets to someone who is a gossiper. Since he does not guard his mouth from speaking rechilus, you cannot trust him to keep your secret confidential.”

The other verse states the converse “Goleh Sod Holech Rochel” One who reveals secrets is a gossiper. Rabbeinu Yonah explains: “If you see someone who does not exercise self-control to guard his tongue and refrain from revealing others’ secrets … this will lead him to speak rechilus … for his lips are not under his control.”

IN A NUTSHELL

Never repeat a statement to someone that is not derogatory, but may offend him a bit.

Never reveal a secret told to you in confidence.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

Mrs. Atlas cannot wait for her husband to come home from work. As soon as he walks through the door, she exclaims: “You’ll never believe what I overheard today!

“I was in the supermarket and the store was quite empty and unusually quiet. That’s how I was able to stand in aisle 3 and overhear a conversa­tion between Mrs. Eigelman and Mrs. Dillman in aisle 2. They were discussing the upcoming shul elections. I couldn’t believe my ears! Mrs. Dillman said that her husband is not voting for you because he was unhappy with how you chaired the Finance Committee this past year — isn’t that a chutzpah? You were the first chairman to ever get the shul’s finances in order!”

Mrs. Atlas has spoken rechilus to her husband. Just as husband and wife are not permitted to speak lashon hara to one another, so too they cannot speak rechilus.

The Chofetz Chaim adds an important insight:

When we think into this matter well, we discover that aside from the actual sin, when a husband believes rechilus that was told to him by his wife, he brings many difficult problems upon himself. For when his wife sees that he happily accepts her [sinful] words, she will frequently come to him with such reports. This will lead to his becoming angry, depressed, and involved in arguments.

Therefore, a G-d-fearing person will tell his wife not to relate such matters to him.

As we noted in Day 81, there are situations where a wife is permitted to share with her husband what would normally be considered lashon hara. The great tzaddik and posek Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach crystallized this idea in the following way:

For a marriage to function properly, a husband and wife must share their feelings. If a woman is disturbed by something involving her dealings with others and she feels that she must unburden herself, her husband should not thrust her aside by saying, “No, it’s lashon hara.” If the problem is too difficult for her to bear alone, he must share her packet of tzaros and help her overcome them.

Of course, their purpose [in discussing such matters] must be to reach a solution to the problem and to alleviate her pain — not to gossip or degrade a fellow Jew. Even while “letting off steam,” husband and wife must be careful to abide by the laws of lashon hara [and not say that which is unnecessary or express negative opinions about certain people].

An example of the above is where a woman is being mistreated by her employer and she needs to speak to her husband about it. However, in our example involving the shul elections, there is no reason why Mrs. Atlas had to tell her husband of the conversation that she overheard in the supermarket. To the contrary, as the Chofetz Chaim points out, she is actually hurting her husband by repeating such information to him. He will become angry and aggravated (assuming he transgresses the sin of believing rechilus) and will not be able to change the situation for the better.

A good wife should do her best to uproot such a conversation from her mind and act as if she never heard it.

IN A NUTSHELL

Relatives cannot speak rechilus to one another, except in a situa­tion where they are suffering emotional pain and need to unburden themselves.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 7:3-4

“Chayah, my washing machine just died and I need a new one, fast. I’m not sure if I should go to Mr. Felder’s appliance store or Mr. Adler’s. Do you have any preference?”

“I’ll tell you, Sarah, both of them have sterling reputations. They’re as honest as they come, and they stand behind their merchandise. But you know what my husband told me? He feels that Mr. Adler doesn’t just sell appliances — he knows appliances. He understands how these machines work, so when he recommends an item, it’s with the first-hand knowledge that this appliance is the best of its kind. Mr. Felder, on the other hand, goes by what he hears from wholesalers. That’s okay, but it doesn’t compare to being electronically savvy. So I feel more confident buying from Mr. Adler.

“Please don’t repeat what I just told you. I wouldn’t want it to get back to Mr. Felder.”

If Sarah can be trusted not to repeat this conversation, then Chayah has acted correctly in responding to Sarah’s question and providing her with some sound advice. If Sarah would foolishly repeat the conversation to Mr. Felder, she would be guilty of speaking rechilus.

In this segment, the Chofetz Chaim points out that one would also be guilty of rechilus by repeating the conversation to Mr. Felder’s wife or other close relative. They, too, might feel personally offended upon hearing what Chayah’s husband had to say about Mr. Felder’s appliance expertise.

As with lashon hara, it is forbidden to speak rechilus about a Jew to a non-Jew.

“Who fixed your sidewalk, Mr. McVay?” “My neighbor, Mr. Friedman. He did a good job, and gave me a good price — only $1,200.”

“You call that a good price? I could have gotten you someone who would have done the same job for $1,000.”

In this conversation, nothing has been accomplished, other than to make Mr. McVay upset at his Jewish neighbor, who claimed to have been doing the job for a bargain price. Even if it would be true that someone else would have done the job for less, the job was already done and had already been paid for. And who is to say that the person who charges $1,000 would have done the same quality work? As the saying goes, “You get what you pay for.” It is possible that Mr. Friedman’s work is actually worth more than the price he charged.

Criticizing someone’s work is no simple matter.

IN A NUTSHELL

We may not tell someone a negative report concerning his or her close relative.

We may not speak rechilus to a non-Jew.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM — Hilchos Rechilus 7:2

How’s business, Gershon?”

“Not so good, Yisrael. That new dairy res­taurant down the block has been drawing custom­ers away from me. I think my food is just as good, but you know how it is — people always like to try something new.”

“It could be something else, Gershon. Someone told me that the Rav has been advising people to use the new store. He claims that the kashrus supervi­sion is better there. Who knows? Maybe the owner is the Rav’s cousin and he’s trying to get him customers.”

Of course, Yisrael has been guilty of speaking rechilus. The Chofetz Chaim points out that while it is forbidden to speak rechilus about any Jew, it is particularly severe when the subject is a talmid chacham.

He offers three reasons for this:

• The sin of rechilus is worse when the report is false. In the case of a talmid chacham, it is highly unlikely that he would have said or done something that is contrary to halachah. In our example, either the rav never made such a statement, or he had good reason for doing so. Suggesting that he encouraged people to use the other restaurant because the owner is his cousin is slander.

• The Torah commands us to draw close to talmidei chachamim, to assist them in any way possible, and to honor them. By speaking rechilus about a talmid chacham, one is drawing others away from him.

• Very often, people will ignore insults that others are reported to have said about them. In such cases, rechilus causes little damage. However, when someone hears that a talmid chacham has spoken against him, he tends to take it seriously, and the result can be terrible.

In our example, where the one reported to have done Gershon harm is his rav, the results can be tragic. If Gershon accepts the rechilus as fact, he may seek to have the rav fired.

The importance of showing respect for talmidei chachamim at all times cannot be overemphasized. The Chofetz Chaim once likened a talmid chacham to a doctor who possesses a wonder potion that can cure a terrible disease. And he likened those who show disrespect for a talmid chacham to someone who takes the potion out of the doctor’s hand and casts it into the river, making it impossible for him to cure anyone.

Said the Chofetz Chaim: Talmidei chachamim possess the wisdom of Torah, the “potion” that can help people to deal with all sorts of seri­ous problems. But their wisdom is beneficial only as long as respect is shown to them. When people are disrespectful towards talmidei cha­chamim, they are like the person who casts the potion into the river, for they cause others to ignore the talmid chacham’s words.

IN A NUTSHELL

Speaking rechilus about a talmid chacham is a particularly severe sin.

 -A project of  Mesorah Publications –